Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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