My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Farmville is her only friend.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
this will be a night to untag.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
