I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
