i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
