Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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