Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
