Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
