very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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