Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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