remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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