He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Less talking, more tequila
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
