so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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