If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just want to make out with him forever
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
