i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
