so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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