DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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