K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
is wine microwaveable?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
