some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
