He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
