i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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