Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
