yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
