it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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