Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
