if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
