I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
