I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
