Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
