I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
