now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
