a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
im having a threesome with these popsicles
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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