yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
