Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
