Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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