Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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