party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
