I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
