There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
