yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
