Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
