Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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