So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
