Nicole vs. Life
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
