I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
