maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
