The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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