my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
