Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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