If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
