Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
