I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
